Who would have that thought that the above definitions (from a highly regarded dictionary) would apply to the BMW GS series.

Kerry Hodges from the well known BM Workshop classified my old Red Dwarf as the Mick Jagger version on account of the huge, leering, red tongue projecting ahead of the bike.

Well, with the passing of the years, the words Enhanced and Aesthetic finally apply to the new R1150 GS. So, the Red Dwarf is no longer, traded in on a new, improved and (to me) quite an aesthetic R1150GS.

First of all, can the new big fella be classified as a BUFF. Let me jog your memories and remind you of this acronym usually applied to the venerable B-52 bomber. i.e. Big Ugly Fat FFFFFellow (or something like that). The B for big is applicable but it is no overweight lump like some bikes. The U for ugly - well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The appearance is a great improvement on the R1100GS, and to be honest I find Bull Terriers to be handsome beasts! F for fat, no way. Not svelte either but certainly not an overweight, overdone cruiser like some BMW products. And the other- FFFellow, well, a handsome devil don’t you think?

AESTHETICS and IMPROVEMENTS

Let us start at the front end. Spoked wheels: you can’t go wrong. Despite the hassles in cleaning them, they are still most attractive and have hidden qualities in strength to weight. Also the method of securing the spokes to the hub and rim is still one of the most pleasing engineering solutions I have ever seen.

The Front Forks: The originals were just two long, grey, elliptical tubes. Quite effective but uninspiring. The new ones work in the same manner but are drastically altered in appearance. Imitation upside down forks are the go nowadays. The exposed metal components have an exquisite milled finish. Just run your fingers up and down my forks and you will understand. The fork seals are still up near the top of the fork tubes but are normally unseen behind the headlights.

Speaking of headlights, the ultimate in aesthetic appearance has to be the lights on the 916/996 Ducati. The GS has not reached that level of attractiveness but the new cock-eyed headlights are most effective and a visual improvement on the original rectangular slab.

BMW also have a new supplier of plastic. The hand guards on the Red Dwarf had developed a swirling two toned effect after a few years in the Sun as had the right hand panel under the fuel tank. On the new bike all the plastic items appear to be a lot more substantial both in quality and thickness.

Now walk around to the rear of the bike. You will notice an immediate improvement in aesthetics. Two equal size panniers help greatly in giving a balanced appearance to the bike. Normally the left hand pannier has a large cut-away on the inner surface to clear the standard muffler. Also both panniers are brought in as close as possible to the bike frame giving a more sleek appearance. To see the opposite in a non-aesthetic appearance have a look at an R1150S with panniers - the word bargearse may come to mind!

This improvement in aesthetics has come about very simply. Remove the existing Muffler and replace with an Aussie Staintune. Now we come to that magic word:

ENHANCEMENT

The Staintune Muffler: a multi edged sword.

1. It allows the fitting of the full size left-hand pannier off the R1150 RT. Staintune even supply a new bracket to attach to the sub frame.
2. It is also easier to hold up, probably 4 kilograms lighter than the original.
3. It sounds pretty good. And there is a small restrictor at the end secured with an easily removed bolt. And what do you know? Sounds even better!
4. The power output is also enhanced, somewhere between an extra 3 to 5 horsepower.

So the Staintune Muffler is an aesthetic improvement (in appearance and sound) and a performance enhancement - the best of both worlds! Typical Aussie ingenuity. (We will rule the world one day if we continue to improve on German engineering).

Some minor enhancements:

Headlight protectors - essential owing to the replacement costs of the light housings.

Valve Caps- why not? They were an impulse buy when I picked up the headlight protectors. Anodized, electric blue, but I only notice them when checking tyre pressures. No big deal.

Speaking of colour, what about the bike’s colour scheme. I was originally thinking of an all black version. Would certainly qualify as a BUFF in that configuration. However the Blue/White version was extra cost and maybe therefore a more select colour scheme. Not to be of course, Macman already had the only version in A.C.T./Qbn so he was slightly pissed when I chose “his” colour. And only last month another Blue/White version was sold in the A.C.T. Three collectors items?