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Don't Call Me a Bag Lady
By Claire Holsinger
from November 2001

Rumours about being able to tell a lot about a person by the contents of his or her handbag, could be worth testing in relation to motorcycle luggage. Luggage accessories are not only important functional attributes but also something of a fashion statement about what style of rider you are. The BMW marque is a proud Bavarian invitation to "lay down your Louis Vuitton luggage and come play with me".

The mere mention of the word "accessories" brings to mind our dear club member and devoted committee representative L. Ron Enhancement - now there's a man who really knows how to accessorise with style.

Feeling rather blah about my own tote capacity I bought my burgundy babe of a motorcycle her very own French tank top. It is snug fitting and full of clips and zips for any wonder of attachments a girl would want to carry when she shakes her hair out of her helmet and struts her parked-motorcycle pedestrian stuff.

But the standard bag that came with the sexy French tank top looked more like a stitched leather spittoon than a suitable French accessory for a voluptuous bike like mine. That droopy excuse for a motorcycle handbag not only looked like a leather hangover, but it became a lecherous breast attack sack when I was riding. You just have to draw the line somewhere!

So I did the only blonde thing a girl could do when faced with such a tragedy - I took it back, and asked for a smaller, cuter motorcycle handbag from Maison Bagster. When I explained the lecherous qualities of the standard sack the sales person was quite taken aback. He said they had never had a complaint like that before??

Now we all know that the "new black" is synthetic, don't we? Skin of dead animals is definitely out this season. Absolutely a relic of that hippy era of body shirts, bell-bottoms and platform cork shoes along with speech impediments like Ban the Bomb and Make Love Not War.

So my new handbag is "new black" with curvy lines, compact shape, separate zipped compartment for lipstick and a plastic sleeve so I can tell where I am going by looking at my map. No way could I be as advanced as the stylish L. Ron with GPS. I wouldn't know how to read the technical instructions anyway.

So now my pair of panniers are free for other necessities of travel like this season's frocks, matching shoes and of course my own hair drier. But I'm not telling you what's in the main section of my new bike bag - you'll just have to figure that out for yourselves.

© ACTBMWMCC 2001 - not to be reproduced in whole or part without permission.

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